deense: (althea dreaming)
2015-11-05 12:05 am

Depression and Anxiety Lie

It started in August. There isn't a why, I wish there was. I wish I could say it was when Zoe got sicker, or because I was stressed about DragonCon. But there isn't. I think that's one of the hardest things to deal with. I've always managed to attribute my depression and anxiety to THINGS. Even if these things were caused by the former. I wanted and needed a cause.

I withdrew from everything and everyone. It wasn't constant. I could go out and have a great time. I made it through work. But I would come home and if I didn't have something on I would go to bed. I would stay in bed til the next day when I needed to go to work. Past when I needed to go to work.

I had things to do those nights. I was working on cosplay for dragoncon and on stock for Cincy comicon. With too little time left I worked madly on all the things. I didn't do any of them well. So I was disappointed with myself. That led to more anxiety, more frustration.

Dragoncon was stressful because of it. I had a great time, but I'd rushed costumes and a couple didn't work out. I was moody. I missed meetups and things I wanted to do because I just couldn't. I had massive allergic reactions to makeup I've worn before an have worn since. That isn't to say I didn't love it, I did. But I wasn't in a great place.

New York relaxed me. All I did was catch up with friends and see a show. Cincy was amazing. I had my Suzy, and I had an amazing show put on by Kara.

Then I got back. At first I told myself it was just jetlag. Then I said it was bullshit with my job. Suddenly I was working two jobs for the pay of one, and I know I got the short end of that stick. I hadn't done any RP or writing in forever. Then I started hurting all the time again instead of my usual low level pain and I spiralled into an anxiety/depression/pain cycle which felt neverending at times.

I missed feeling like a functional human.

The thing that really got me was being at the closing show for Les Mis Oz sydney and feeling so panicked that I wanted to get up and leave in the first half. This, my favourite show, with an amazing cast, there with one of my best friends. I didn't leave, and I'm glad I didn't, because stage door was amazing and I got to celebrate the closing of an awesome show with awesome people.

The last two weeks it has felt like things might be turning around. I don't try and come up with a way to get myself out of bed each morning and I don't need to talk myself out of calling in. We got a new catten. I had the Doubleclicks play at my house. I spent a day walking around erskineville and newtown and just paid attention to what I needed. I started walking again, whether it be to the next station on, or going for one after work. I started reading books again. I found a consistent doctor and went back to my rheumatologist. Like my fibro and arthritis and my depression and anxiety aren't all that I'm made of.

That isn't to say it's all behind me. I still find myself anxious more often than I am comfortable with. I still find myself dogged by the black dog that no one invites in. But more and more I feel like I can pull away from that and control this.

To the people who have reached out, thank you. Too often I have that horrible feeling that I'm a bother and that if I didn't email or message people I'd be forgotten. Thank you for proving me wrong.
deense: (comics: batgirl: steph)
2015-10-07 10:49 pm

State of the Pups



Married to the man that she loves, and had a child arrive from her marriage in canon. It's thrown her a great deal. She has her first open post since the arrival of Sybbie. It's hard for her. She loves Henri and everything she wanted was with him. Now she has a child who she also remembers and does love. But it's hard. She's pushing both away. She needs friends.

SILENT DARROW: Nope nope nope. Enough going on.


Pretty much her band is down to just her and Maria. They really need to do the acoustic night they keep talking about! My big thing with Juno is ongoing relationships. She has a few, but I have to be better at them. Kurt, Jesse, everyone else at the record store. I'm not sure what's happening about Daphne, so that's a bit up in the air.

SILENT DARROW: Maybe? She'd be a tagalong to someone else.


Mary has Silent Plot coming up. I want her to face potentially shooting her husband, Sherlock, them rejecting her. I really want to break her down.

Also, John gambling again. Muahahahaha.

SILENT DARROW: YES. Being an assassin, shooting her husband and his best friend.


He's going to get forced back into school in the next couple of weeks. He's going to hate it.

Please, if you have crime or hijinks happening let me know. He will get involved. He will drag Flavia along with him. (Sorry Flavia)

SILENT DARROW: Tagging along to anyone that he might. Either barricade boys, Flavia, or whatever.


Also a new parent! He is in love with Ellen, and I get so ecstatic at the fact he gets to raise his daughter. <---- That's from my last post and it's still true. He's so happy to have Ellen to raise. It's the thing that's keeping him sane and focused. But to say he's bereft at losing Claire again is an understatement. His post at the stables is still open

SILENT DARROW: NOPE. Not right now for him. His worst is horrible, I can do it another time


Beyond the silly magic stuff, things are a bit up in the air because Melly and I are a bit slow because work and school. Ollie may just tell her the truth!

But she's developing friendships here. Friendships I really like! Molly, Christina. SO MANY.

SILENT DARROW: Not her own, but will be involved in Ollie's and possiby Molly's. FOR ALL THE FUN!

Thomas Hamilton

I was slack on his debut. Rather, Zoe took a massive turn for the worse, so I spent most of my time not at work with her. But I'm getting him out. He's sad, and yet hopeful. I have a very strong sense of his voice, but need to build relationships.

SILENT DARROW: Nope. He's too new.


Lagertha Lothbrok

Yes, I have a type. Kickass women ftw! November or December but dammit she's coming. I just am wondering what point in canon to bring her from!

deense: Kurt Halsey  (Snurgling with kitties)
2015-07-27 09:45 pm

State of the Pups


My darling and my sweetheart. I've just sent in my canon update/npc child application. If it gets accepted than her update/and Sibby will show up on August 23 (the day after her wedding). If it doesn't, she's still getting married on the 22nd of August. She's so excited, and so am I. Her and Henri have been together for 19 months now. She was also attacked by a vampire recently, and is going to go back to taking self-defence, something she's let slide.

Her bridal shower/hens post is here. Please tag if you know her or Henri and I'll post it at the end of the month.


I worry that I don't do enough with Juno. She has the band (though it is down a couple members) and it's getting regular small club gigs. She has her roomie and her friends. She has sorta been on a date with Daphne, and Jess and I are seeing where this is going (and also a bit crap at playing it out)! She's decided not to go back college, that she likes what she's doing with the band and at the record store.

I need for her to reach out and make some new friends, as well as touch base with old ones.


John and she also discovered there are fictional versions of them and of Sherlock. It's thrown Mary for more than a loop than she'd like to admit, so she's not dealing with it. She's put it aside and is focusing on Evie, her job and on the murders happening around Darrow. I've done nothing with her nefarious lab ownership plot. I really need to get on that too, maybe in October.

Becca has this way of making me squeal with what she does. Currently John is at the Fight Club gambling and I love it. Mary, however, will not. It's something she's going to be so disappointed by when she does discover it. (I cannot wait)

She needs more friends. She needs to confront Flavia. She also needs to meet people who are parents as well.


New mother of twins, and they seem to be normal. For now. She needs more threads with Hermione, with Jennifer, and with other wolves/weres. She also needs to find some sort of nanny/helper, because she'll be going back to work soon. Clayton will HATE that. So that means I love it. >.> Sorry Lexie!

I'd love to do a homeplot for her, and am considering a canon update at some point. Brad gimme Savannah


He's going to have to go back to school this autumn and he's not going to like it. He has his elephant, and he's a dog who's adopted him - Montparnasse. He's considering setting up some sort of gambling ring. He's known at most of the pubs in town. I love playing him and I'm going to keep playing him exactly like I do.

Please, if you have crime or hijinks happening let me know. He will get involved. He will drag Flavia along with him. (Sorry Flavia)


Also a new parent! He is in love with Ellen, and I get so ecstatic at the fact he gets to raise his daughter. He hates when Claire wears trousers, he loves their house outside of the city and he loves his job at the stables. He wears his plaid most of the time, he went to fight club and he needs all the friends. He's a polyglot, so he needs to learn more languages! Meet magic people!

Soon I'll start giving him nightmares. He's content and that seems the best time to have this sort of thing happen.

Also, I need one of his gay friends to tell him they are so. So he can be forced to deal with his issues on that matter. It won't be easy. Thanks Black Jack.


So not only has Thea slept with one of Ollie's friends, she's been caught by him at Fight Club. They are going to have a conversation and hopefully some of their secrets will come out. If they do, then they'll have that to deal with.

The thing is, she likes Derek (as a friend at the least) but feels betrayed by him. She and Molly set up Fight Club (which was a huge success) and her friendship with Molly is one of my favourite things. Is working as a receptionist/office assistant at a casting/talent agency and it suits her.

Also needs to meet more people.


Thomas Hamilton

Damn you Black Sails and damn you Rupert Penry-Jones. He's such an idealist and won his way into my heart within seconds. He'll have a hard time with Darrow and a hard time adjusting. So I love it.

Octavia Blake & Lagertha Lothbrok

These two. Yes, I have a type. Kickass women ftw! It'll be October and November, as I'll be away for a bunch of September.

In other news: My cat is sick and I know she won't be around for very much longer. I may get super distracted and if so I'm sorry. I'm also away in the US from Sept 3-16. <3
deense: (middleman: profanity)
2014-12-31 11:29 am

State of the Pups - TCRPG (With a London Postscript!)


Sybil's life is good. She's going to go back to school, the medical school this time, and study a specialisation in emergency medicine and nursing. That may lead to her studying surgical nursing, she will definitely take an introduction to it though. She is happy with Henri, and still working to get over some of her hangups from the 1920s. At some point I want to canon update her, but not until after they get engaged (Hint hint Becca ;p )

I need for her to reach out to her friends more often. I've been slack with that. Also another post or two at the hospital in the New Year.

She and Henri have booked a suite at Kagura for the holiday in order to have a romantic getaway. How wrong that will go!


This quote is so perfect right now. Juno's whole life is up in the air. She has her band starting (guys, I will get back to this in the New Year) and she's wondering why she ever when to Barton U. She's barely passed her classes and I think she's going to take a semester off, ask Eduardo if she can work full-time and work on her band.

She's just asked Eleanor to be her roommate, figuring they both need it. Besides, isn't part of life having housemates and fighting about dirty dishes and stuff? She has been forever without a date. She tried to ask Reggie out and that failed. She thinks Daphne is cute but doesn't really know what to do with that bit of information.

NYE Juno will be at the party and I do not know if she's going to get trapped. Open to suggestion. Possible Mistletoe


Talk about a young man filled with regrets. He's nearly 20 (erk, must figure that out) and in love with his girlfriend, and happy with his art course at Barton U. But he's pretty distraught that Katniss is gone. Mostly for the lost chance to patch up their friendship, and have a closeness they lost here in Darrow. There's a lot of could have and should have in his mind right now, but he's focusing on the people he does have as best he can. He's worried about Prim and will be worried about Effie too.

In the New Year I am still considering a canon update, but I might put that off for a few months.

NYE Unsure! Whatever Claudia is doing, Peeta will be there.


Also going through a hard time. Her best friend, Molokov, has vanished. Because of this there's going to be some trouble at the club in the New Year, as he was the one who paid all the bribes to the less than savoury gang folk. City council/Police bribes will continue to be paid by Kenya. Running the Filling Station as well will get overwhelming, and she'll need to find someone to take over the day to day management of it. She has a tentative something with Shikamaru, but is fairly closed off. She's attracted to Athos in the way a moth is attracted to a flame. She's ecstatic for Kate still, and happy Saffron is happy too.

I brought her from very close to the end of her canon. I think that she's going to start really missing Amanda soon, and possibly do something stupid. Maybe get in a fight with the gang folk and get beat up. But she'll have her revenge.

NYE Going to go to the party, possibly with Shikamaru (not that it will stop her flirting somewhat). May get trapped by mistletoe. May get trapped by the snow.


I love Mary so much, and she really does need to keep John in trouble, lest he get bored. She's encouraged him to keep a diary or blog of the events happening in the city. They'll soon discover that they may have fictional counterparts. And the lab that she works at is testing odd blood samples. I need to put my thoughts about that into a plot submission and send it to the mods, so if anyone wants to be involved, let me know.

In other news, she is slowing developing a few friends here which is good and needed. Evelyn will start walking soon, at about 10 months (mid-January).

NYE Will go to the party with John but go home early to let the babysitter go home.


I have a hard time talking about Elena without talking about Clayton too. Sorry Lexie! But they've just gotten married (on Christmas Eve) after ten years of on-again off-again and then the past two years together. Elena is pregnant, and will give birth to twins after only six months - but they'll be full term. Thank you canon for making her pregnancy a human/wolf hybrid. She's excited but full of trepidation as well. There's no record of there being another female wolf from her world, never mind two wolves breeding. She was also raised in foster care. But because of the accelerated pregnancy she will have to go on maternity leave sooner rather than later, or have some odd questions. Mindy is her Doctor and her thread with Danny finding out is giving me such joy.

She's trying to surround herself with wolves (and a coyote and a witch), making a sort of ragtag pack, even though none of them necessarily need or want an alpha. But they're the closest thing to pack here, and she misses that.

NYE HECK NO. Staying home with Clayton.


Loving this Christmas break from his home schooling by Combeferre. I was sick, so didn't put up the gathering post for the soup kitchen on Christmas Eve. I may do that at the end of January or something.

Has recently received his Elephant, and will be spending the occasional night up there. Needs to meet Lisbeth and follow her around the amusement park and ask how everything works. Is endlessly curious. Has some of the oddest friends, like the Musketeers. Porthos is teaching him how to fight. Needs to meet Arya (and so many others). During the summer I think he's going to be a page at the council chambers.

NYE At Aggie's sleepover. Will be SO UPSET he is not trapped on the mountain and try to find his way up.


LOOK I COULDN'T RESIST, okay? But he is shiny and new. He's thrilled to have Claire back (we're playing that out) and happy to have found something that resembles a Fraser plaid here. He'll get to be a father (though the pregnancy will likely still be difficult). He's not going to want to stay in the city for very long, will want to build or find a house in the country, and will do his best to convince Claire of that.

He will be interested to learn of the politics in this place, and about any discrimination against outlanders. (see what I did there?) At first he may put his experience as a wine merchant to use, and work somewhere that involves that and/or whisky.

NYE Staying home with Claire to celebrate Hogmanay and be with his wife.


Sometime in January -

Thea Queen, the best enemy sister the arrowa brother could hope for.

I realise I made a mistake with Henry. But I'm not giving up. I'll be back in the New Year with someone new. Hint?
deense: Kurt Halsey  (Snurgling with kitties)
2014-12-25 10:13 am

Hiatusy like thing

Hey all,

I am so sick and have been for three days. Worse, I fly down to Hobart this afternoon for a busy week with my in-laws.

I will be getting tags back, but I am going to be so slow. Please be patient. I love all my threads <3
deense: Kurt Halsey  (Snurgling with kitties)
2014-01-20 09:35 am

(no subject)

So they've gone and made my favourite series of books into a tv series, and I just found out about it yesterday.

Bitten, the first of the Otherworld books my Kelley Armstrong, and my favourite series of books pretty much ever. I watched the frist two eps yesterday and I love it. Very very much. Werewolves, Toronto, Upstate New York. Sex and murders (not together) and good pacing.

That being said, has anyone noticed that Toronto (and Ontario) has become the new Vancouver for tv, especially genre tv?? Warehouse 13, Orphan Black, Lost Girl, Bitten are all filmed there, as are Hannibal and Flashpoint.

That's it for now. I'm trying to use this more regularly.
deense: (Yuletide!)
2014-01-03 06:08 pm

Things I done wrote

It's that time, so I can finally say what I wrote for Yuletide!

Almost an Avenger - Hawkeye - The further adventures of Kate Bishop, Girl Detective and her loyal pup Lucky.

Games - The Originals - Elijah/Rebekah/Klaus historical porn. Adult :)

Safe Places - Orphan Black - Sarah, Felix and Kira. Post series with flashbacks.

Adjustment Period - Sarah Connor Chronicles - John Connor, Derek Reese, Kyle Reese. John tries to adjust to life in the future (post-series)
deense: (comics: batwoman)
2013-12-30 09:34 pm

State of the Pups

Toshiko Sato
There was a brief while that I was unsure of what to do with Tosh. A combo of the Christmas Tree post and plotting with Angel makes me realise that she has plot a plenty. The thing she does need is friends. But it makes sense that it took her so long. She's always been wrapped up in her work. They're going to undertake both moving and expanding Torchwood soon and that's amazing. She'll be getting her item and trying to use that to hunt down whomever screwed with her memory.

NYE: She won't go out initially, but will go out to catch a bee

Sybil Crawley
Oh, my delight, my darling. Sybil is my sweetheart, and every season of Downton makes me desperate for more canon mates. Edith and how she's grown, Mary and her confidence, the Dowager Countess... I will do nearly anything to gain anyone from canon in Darrow.

As to Sybil, she's adjusting to modern life. In fact, after nearly two years in Darrow, she's invited Henri back to hers on Christmas Eve, and only time will tell how this ends. It's a difficult thing for her. She still strongly believes that there are things that one doesn't do until they're wed, but then, this world is so very different than her own. She has another semester at school and she'll be a nurse, rather than a nurse's aide. She looks forward to that.

Bees: She will likely be having a quiet NYE with Henri and get called into the hospital. You may be treated by her

Rebekah Mikaelson
Rebekah is delighted by her relationship with Jesse, and yet terrified that someone might hurt him to get to her. Her relationship with Elijah is good, but she is till is trying to win over Hayley, or she feels she is. She needs more threads with her friends. They make her feel normal. However, Jesse getting kidnapped by a fan will turn her into hardcore crazy vamp girl.

Bees: Will be out briefly for NYE and will give Jesse her blood to heal him. Open to other drama.

Juno Macguff
Wow. Her story has taken a turn I never expected but that I love. She's desperate to finish her last semester of high school, and yet she's still not thought beyond that. One semester at a time. She's starting a band, she's working part time, and she's really seriously not thinking about Jamie. Because that would be hard. She's spending her time with her friends, and missing home fiercely.

NYE: She'll be there but flee from the bees.

Tara Maclay
Here are my worries, and the only pup I'm considering letting go. I just don't feel like I have her voice right. I feel like she's too tentative and shy. I like I'm lost sometimes when I play her. I will give it a rewatch, but I'm not sure what's up, and if I might let her go.

Peeta Mellark
I was drifting with Peeta, and then Catching Fire came out. I am sure how I've had him since then is right and my earlier ambiguity is gone. There's plot, there's so much plot coming up for all the hunger games pups. More importantly is the fact that he and Katniss are now friends (thank you Capitol) but now Claudia is important to him too, in a way he never thought he'd be ready for.

Bees: Unsure. The THG pups (I think) will exchange gifts on NYE, which may preclude that.

Sloan Sabbith

Dear everything that is holy that makes her so loud? I love Sloan. I love that she is so freaking frustrated at being stuck in a place where economics don't make sense and Don doesn't remember that they kissed. She needs to make friends (other than Newt who I think is her bff really), to get out and do things. Applications open.

Bees: She will report on NYE and when the bees come out she and Don will seek shelter and IN MY WORLD they will kiss and it will be confusing.

Kenya Rosewater
Who knew she'd be so fun? She and Molokov have great plans, and she is going to blackmail her way into a club with Anton. She's fun to play and different than my other pups. She has a darker side that hasn't had to come out yet. Mostly she's taking things as they come, and pretty okay at being in Darrow.

But by god does she miss Amanda.

Bees: Unsure. She will be out NYE but I"m not sure how I feel generally.

The Future
I have a number of people fighting it out in my head. A young Donald Maclean (for less broken) or maybe Kim Philby. Then there's Oliver Queen from Arrow, that voice that came from nowhere. I only have two to three more spaces. Margene Heffman is still up there. Jo Harvelle who I'd love to play again, but could be complicated.
deense: Sinfest - dominate or not? (Default)
2013-11-29 10:30 am

(no subject)


I made up a form to better gather your addresses to send christmas postcards. <3

That embedding thing doesn't work, so it's HERE
deense: (Yuletide!)
2013-10-10 05:33 pm

Yuletide 2013

Dear Yuletide Penguin -

I am travelling overseas until the 16th of October and likely will not have time to update this letter with more details until the 18th. Please come back after that point for a more in depth letter. Til then my eternal thanks, and some basic details.

under here )
deense: (disney: ariel sense of wonder)
2013-08-06 08:18 pm

Recipe Time

I made this last night and it was amazing, so I promised the recipe. Gluten free and dairy free and actually vegan not that it has to be!


Polenta (1 cup) - cook with 1 litre vegetable stock, chopped jalapeno, and chilli seasoning
Kidney Beans (1 can) - sautee with chopped onion, cumin, coriander, chilli powder, chopped capsicum and 2 tablespoons salsa (Black bean salsa is best)
Pumpkin/Butternut Squash - Chop in small pieces and steam til just tender
Corn tortillas
1 jar black bean salsa - either chipotle balck bean from mission or the byron bay co.
Dozen cherry tomatoes chopped and mixed with salsa.

Take a 9x13 pan. Spread with polenta over the bottom. Then 2/3 the bean mixture, then tortillas, then pumpkin, then rest of bean mixture then more tortillas. Top with Salsa. Bake for 20 minutes at 190.

So there you go. My made up polenta bake recipe. If you want to add cheese before baking, go for it.
deense: Sinfest - dominate or not? (Default)
2013-06-07 09:21 pm


Indeed, it seems to be that time! Especially since I just came back off hiatus about a week ago and June needs must be reqs making month. This is the fancy no gifs no code version, cause it's late and I work at 6 am.

Tosh - Tosh is in a strange place. She has her boss and hero here (Jack) but she's just learned that everything goes VERY BADLY in the future, even if she doesn't have specifics. She has Owen... Sorta? As a friend yes but damn my and Angel's hiatuses need to not overlap at some point. She needs more connections in the city. I need a Torchwood rewatch, especially season 2. Anyone want to find her hunting a weevil? We never said there was just one >.>

Sybil - She's doing well. She likes Kaine far too much still. Someone come distract her? But she's finished a year of her nursing course, and will be working full time over the summer as a nurse's aide still and loving that. She has friends, and can always use more. She needs to get dragged out to a club or two, to have more fun things to do. I am likely going to be mean and canon update her in a couple months. Only to what point?

Sif - She's one of those odd pups. I have a hard time with her sometimes, and others I get that cadence down. I think I have a much better grasp on the balance than I have before, and in part I blame reading Journey into Mystery. BUT! She and Elijah still have a sort of non-relationship. Because sleeping with someone who once thought you were a god 1000 years ago IS NOT WEIRD AT ALL. She's working at the gym training women and running self defense classes still. Needs to catch up with students like Olive again. More supernatural people/capes. I always forget that she's supposed to be 6 ft tall, which is random and not THAT tall, except if you're a woman.

Tara - In a really great place. Working as a librarian at the main college. Doesn't trust Ursula, but doesn't have any reason to actively mistrust her either, other than that mistletoe spell which was more mischief. Wants to take Aggie under her wing. Is connecting with Buffy in a way she never really managed before. Spike is Spike, and she is happy he's here, she's always liked him. Currently Katherine is pretending to be Elena and HUNGRY FOR PEOPLE. Really hits it off with Eden who pulls her out of her shell. Her post is still wide open, btw.

Rebekah - Oh my. Well. Her stylist job is great, especially as she can compel people into buying what she wants and make excellent commissions. Slept with Damon. Exchanged blood with her brother (it's complicated). Outsnarked Buffy (heck yeah!). Needs to have a thread with Summer and Olive soon. Also Elena, Katherine, any other vampires... And more people.

Juno - She needs to go on a bit of a bender once the summer starts. Just do some crazy stupid stuff. Needs to run into Katie and the baby. Needs to not deal with this whole being trapped in the same city as her kid and why isn't there a Bleeker yet? Chris, please to be threading with Juno and going on a stupid party weekend that gets out of control and bad stuff nearly happens at the end of this period, scaring her a bit straight again.

Peeta - Was quiet, but the thread Laine and I were working on slowly came to amazing fruition and yes. Complicated. He's in the midst of buying her a ring. I blame Flynn. He needs friends. Seriously, he's lovely, you want your pup to be his friend. He needs to start painting again. I figure he's saved up money, he has that little cottage/house near katniss and prim, he's good. But the bad dreams don't leave him and he needs the painting to deal.

Riddick - HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh god. Why did I think this was a good idea? Don't get me wrong I LOVE playing him, but he's freaking hard. Needs to get in trouble in town. Should meet some capes at some point (he lurks around alleys and rooftops following Fry. It should happen). He and Fry are complicated. Met Andrea, and actually respects her. Is going to start getting Gotham memories in his dreams more frequently.

Queue - no one for about 2 months, but right now Margene (big love) is still on the list, as is Dyson (lost girl) and Kenya (defiance).
deense: (comics: batwoman)
2013-04-16 11:50 pm

(no subject)

So, the actual update that has nothing to do with RP.

It's all health based, so be prepared.

1) Mental Health - Back to seeing the psychologist fortnightly to deal with my myriad issues. Still taking cipramil for the anxiety/depression. Still have body dimorphism. YAY!

2) Physical Health - Fibromyalgia and Psoriatic Arthritis are an awesome combination. Adding to that synovitis of the ankle and displacement of the fibula and the bone grinding against the talar dome and we have just an amazing situation. Add to that the fact the I have hip displacement and a shrinking bit in my spine and I'm not doing that great. I'm not allowed to exercise and even walking too much makes me hurt so damn much. So I weigh more than I ever have and I feel awful about it. I need to go on a strict diet to try and lose weight that way but I don't want to, which is the most awful thing.

I go see an ankle surgeon on May 31.

3) I go home for 2 weeks in May and I am more excited than a very excited thing.

I think that's it for now.
deense: (disney: ariel sense of wonder)
2013-04-16 08:37 pm

State of the Pups

I really never use this thing, do I?

This isn't a me update, but an RPG update for Darrow, aka the City, which you should all look into.

more about those characters I write under here )

Okay! There's a post I'll put up tomorrow for Juno. If anyone wants threads from mine, please let me know!
deense: Kurt Halsey  (Snurgling with kitties)
2013-02-26 12:56 am

(no subject)

In a strange bizarro world, I have come up short on threads this month. WHAT THE HECK???

I need the following:
1 x Sif
2 x Peeta

I am happy to tag things or set up posts!

deense: (Yuletide!)
2013-01-05 11:59 pm

Yuletide round-up!

I cannot believe I haven't done this already.

First of all, there's my lovely gift.
The Ugly Sister, or, How Edith Learned Not to Believe in Fairy Tales

Fandom: Downton Abbey
It's 1200 words of Edith getting a bit of a happy ending of her own. Warning: Spoilers for Season three. I asked for a story that featured any of the sisters, so I am entirely happy with this.

Then onto what I wrote. It was a bit of a mad year. I picked up a number of pinch hits, and then wrote two treats as well.

Let's start with my favourites (though I do like them all) and work down to the truly crack-like:

The Purple Dragon Says: Shop Smart, Shop Mal-Mart
Fandom: Disney Princesses/Fairy Tales and related Fandoms
The request said Disney princesses were okay, and that she wanted lesbians, and would love a supermarket-AU. I delivered a story about Belle and Mulan working for Maleficent's chain of superstores, 'Mal-Mart'.

Thunder Road
Fandom: Friday Night Lights
The request was for Lyla/Tyra, and suggested the song Thunder Road as inspiration. I went with it and sent these two girls on a cross-America road trip. They're two of my favourite characters from one of my all-time favourite shows, and it was awesome to get to write them.

The History Girls
Fandom: The History Boys
What if the History Boys and everyone in their lives were girls? This is Posner's perspective.

Leopards Never Change Their Spots
Fandom: Downton Abbey
A story about Violet and Martha and their many encounters. Spoilers for S3

Stranger Things
Fandom: Lost Girl
Lauren and Dyson take matters into their own hands where Bo is concerned. Adult.

Is There A Santa Claus?
Fandom: Lost Girl
Chatting with my Beta made me want to explore the idea of Santa Claus. Does he exist and is he light or dark fae? Poor Kenzi still doesn't have a good answer.

And the truly crack-riffic:

Settler Blue has a Supermarket
Fandom: Settlers of Catan
The same person who requested the Disney fic had a Settlers of Catan request. So I wrote an anthropomorphized Supermarket-AU for it. AS YOU DO. I do still need to fix a couple edit issues on this one as it was uploaded with seconds to go.

AS PER USUAL! A huge thank you to all my betas who helped these become much better stories, and to yuletide IRC and for cheering me on in those last hours. :)

That is my Yuletide round up. I think I want to explore the Disney story more, and write a series of them (Unions! Labour issues! Overthrowing the evil queen of retail!) so I probably will. You know, in all my free time.
deense: (Yuletide!)
2012-10-15 06:11 pm

Dear Yuletide Penguin

Hi there oh great Yuletide Writer! This is the place that I'll expound on my original requests with a few more thoughts. That time is not now. I will edit this before requests go out. OOOPS! SLIGHTLY AFTER! SORRY!

details here )

No matter what, Thank you thank you, thank you! I appreciate what you've done so much, and hope that you love whichever canon it is you've been assigned as much as I do.

deense: (comics: batgirl: steph)
2012-09-20 01:02 pm

SOTP - 3 game version

Darrow : The City

I’ll admit it. Darrow has been getting all of my attention. I really like the premise of the game, the mix of characters and players and the plots that are happening there. It’s sorta like the just-right chair in goldilocks and that is making me very happy. I’m unsure about SH plot for any of them, but can be talked into it quite easily I suspect.
Mostly I like the pace of the game. It’s nice that though I’ve had health and work issues there hasn’t been any pressure and I don’t feel like I’m behind. But when I am about and want to tag ALL THE TIME, tags are there to do. It’s a good thing!
Toshiko Sato – Finally sort of (kinda?) sorting things out with Owen. Though she’s sick with the virus right now and that might change things. Some of the stuff she’s screaming at him is pretty brutal. But they’re getting there (HAVE A GOOD SNOG ALREADY) and that is a long time coming.
They need to explain Torchwood. Mostly they monitor arrivals, collect data, keep records of all the strange things that happen. She’s a good friend in Eduardo, and I think I might item her in a little while (psychic necklace what?). She still has the retcon in her room, and she needs to tell Owen about that.  
Sybil Crawley – Is anyone surprised when I say she’s my loudest and the character that delights me the most? Probably not.
She’s studying nursing and working at the hospital. Basically she’s doing bridging courses so she can upgrade her skills. A lot has happened in 100 years! Her friendships with Lucy and Katie make her very happy, and she and Kaine have what can only be considered a date. That will have to happen after all this virus plot madness. After all of this she will also be having her slumber party, in which she will invite all of Darrow to attend. Yes, technology. Mac can assure her this happens to EVERYONE.
Sif - My Asgardian is settling in fairly well. She’s slower to play at times, I really like her voice but it’s one I try to get right and sometimes have to work harder at. (Will they just give me the next Thor movie already?????)
She’s developed friendships with Andrea and Tommy, she’s training Olive and holding her self-defence classes. She’s heard strange things about the future from Kaine. I’d really love her to meet some capes, and think there should be a non-mortal pub night. BEER! Sif is definitely in the lead for the next plot.
Rory Williams - Is not as involved as he should be, due to my being slow on his debut, and then me getting him sick. But it’s not right if Rory doesn’t almost die!
He needs to get out. I’ll be tagging him around this month. This whole ‘my wife is from a different time than me, not my wife, never had our baby and lived on an island for 2 years with another me’ thing isn’t something he likes. At all.
Future: And lo, I was hit by the desire to simultaneously app 4 pups at once. What are you doing to me game?
Rebekah Mikaelson – Next. App mostly done. Will hate Darrow and be relieved/hate that Elijah is there
Juno MacGuff – Next +1. App mostly done. Coming in 6 months pregnant so will need to find baby parents RIGHT AWAY. Ads in the darrow pennysaver work, right?
That other pup – I blame Laine. Must re-read books. See also: oops?
May Parker – Ultimates version from before the death of Peter. JUST before the death of Peter. Honestly I put her in the test drive meme just for fun and kinda fell in love. Can categorise this as oops x 2.
Gotham : Year One

Really neglected but don’t have a lot of drive to play over there right now. Too many plots in too short a time and I have backed away rather than cycling through all the things so quickly. So I’m mostly down to my one.
Stefan Salvatore – Needs to get out and contact all his friends. Short threads to tell them the news. Needs threads with Bonnie and Caroline especially. He’s busy working on the boarding house and spends a lot of his time out there. Wants to spend all the time in the world with Elena. Misses Damon. The usual.
On the chopping block: Connor Temple – He’s currently on utility character status, but I think that’s going to change to dropped. He’s just not talking to me at all.
Edge of Forever

I will admit that I took a step back from EoF after realising I couldn’t mod it anymore. Which is sad cause I love the game and people and I really need to start reading the page again, and getting my characters active again. Right now I’m tossing about my characters and who has my focus.
Katniss Everdeen – I don’t plan on getting rid of her. I need to thread her more and get her out more. That is the only plan I have right now. She and Peeta are in that state of stalemate with their relationship. They’re together but they don’t talk about it, and she needs to push past and accept that it’s real. To accept that this place is real.
Natasha Romanoff – In a good place. Most of her team is here and she likes that. She hates being trapped, but likes the craziness that the station throws at them, at least so far. Is working things out with Clint. Needs more threads with Sharon Carter, Baltar and Mystique. Hell, needs to meet half the station.
On the chopping block: Stuart Dakin
I dropped him in Darrow because he wasn’t quite clicking and I am afraid the same thing is going to happen in EoF. He has different relationships here, and I’m going to give him another month and see how it goes.
Dropping: Marie Aurora Zorn
I love her but I don’t have the time to play the psychic strange lady who’s pregnant with even stranger twins.

Possible: Ashley Magnus – we shall see. I need a few good months of play first, so it wouldn’t be til over the holidays/christmasish.
deense: Sinfest - dominate or not? (Default)
2012-08-31 03:14 pm

(no subject)

Alright all. I audition for a baking show on Sunday. The cake I was going to make and had my heart set on is good, but it's not GREAT. So I found a list of cakes all within my skill range all of the sort I have made before. I am leaning toward a couple (the top three actually) and a bit stuck.

Things to remember:
We bake at home and bring in the baking to the audition.
There are no facilities for refrigeration/heating.
We will have time to plate and things there.
It should be individual. I have picked these things because they are all pumkin based, brown sugar based or the peanut butter/chocolate. These are three of my favourite things to bake with, and here in Oz Pumpkin isn't really a sweet (it's a savoury/vegetable), peanut butter/chocolate isn't the MASSIVE thing that it is in North America and brown sugar is pretty much like blood to french canadians.

So, 18 hours to vote, tomorrow is BAKING DAY ALL DAY LONG! I only have time to make at most two, and I would love some feedback.

The list of things I’m thinking of making. In some sort of order of my preference:

Apple Cider cake with pumpkin seed brittle (am considering making pumpkin spice cake with apple cider sauce)\

Chocolate Peanut butter cake (I would layer it)

I think If I made any of these three cakes below I would make the pumpkin seed brittle to go with. I think If I make the one above, peanut brittle on the top would make it insane.

Dulce de Leche Vanilla cake

Bourbon Pumpkin Cheesecake

Brown Butter Pumpkin Layer cake

Layered Pumpkin Pie 1 (I would make the pastry)

Layered pumpkin pie 2

Poll #11592 What should I make???
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 7

First Choice

View Answers

Apple Cider Cake w/ pumpkin seed brittle
3 (42.9%)

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake
0 (0.0%)

Dulce De Leche Vanilla Cake
2 (28.6%)

Bourbon Pumpkin Cheesecake
0 (0.0%)

Brown butter Pumpkin layer cake
2 (28.6%)

Layered pie 1
0 (0.0%)

Layered pie 2
0 (0.0%)

If I make one of the other cakes should I make some sort of brittle to go with?

View Answers

6 (100.0%)

0 (0.0%)

deense: Sinfest - dominate or not? (Default)
2012-08-13 01:28 pm

Recipe time - Pulled Pork

This is one of my favourite things to make (and eat). I make it at least once a month and I'm always getting asked about the recipe, so here we go. Of course, I've made this up after looking up a bunch of different recipes, so amounts are not exact. I make mine in my slow cooker, but you can also do this by browning the pork shoulder and cooking it in a covered dish on a low temp (about 150 C) for 4-6 hours in the oven. Also I flip between metric and imperial measurements. Sorry.

1.5-2 kilo (ish) pork shoulder, excess fat trimmed. Leave SOME fat, you just don't want all of it.

2 onions, chopped
1 cup apple cider vinegar
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 small chunk ginger, chopped
1 small tin tomatoes (400 g)
1/2-3/4 cup brown sugar
2 small chopped chillies or one med-large dried chipotle you've soaked and chopped. It depends if you want hotter or smokier. The chillies will give hotter, the chipotle smokier (and I prefer it, tbh)
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper (I tend to add more)
1 teaspoon salt
1 tbsp mustard powder
A couple tablespoons honey or maple syrup

Blend all of these until it's a sauce. YAY!

Place pork shoulder in slow cooker, fat side up. Pour in 2 tins kidney beans (rinsed). Pour sauce over. Cook on low for about 6 hours.

An hour before serving, take out pork and shred using 2 forks. Put back in sauce. Continue to cook on low.

Ideally serve with corn bread. (I slice cornbread and then pile the pork on top of it).