OMGWTFBBQ

[deense]

The Doctor Who and Torchwood books are very hit and miss. The DW ones always have been -- I read a bunch growing up and I still read them now. I find that they fall into one of three categories:
1) Really awesome and almost surprising
2) Two characters are written really well, the rest aren't, and overall it's not bad but I wouldn't read it again
3) Worse than the first fic I've ever seen leaving me wondering if I will ever get my two hours of time back it took me to read it, and also why they don't just hire one of the many decent fic writers out there to write the books instead.

Anyway, yesterday was spent recovering from the EPICNESS that was the steampunk party. During which I slept, lazed about in bed, and read two of the new Torchwood books I'd picked up. One was pretty good. Very Tosh and Owen centric and I enjoyed it. The other was.... Well, it had potential. The idea behind it was really COOL. but the book itself? Arse.

Let's just say that it had Jack Fucking Harkness riding a Fucking Flying Unicorn.

In fact, I have to share:

Jack surveyed the rest of the Stadium. The howling wind that had encircled the enclosed space was beginning ot loosen chairs and hoardings. But soaring toward him from the stand beyond the goalposts was another extraordinary sight. A Flying Unicorn.

The pale white coat was dappled green in the supernatural light. It seemed to toss his head at him as it approached. Jack clambered up onto the balcony rail, waited fort he amazing creature to pass and leaped onto its back.

He almost overshot. But the animal dropped its shoulder and swung around so that Jack was able to rebalance.

He sat well forward on the animal's withers, plunging his handsdeep into its silky mane and pushing his legs over the point of the shoulder to keep them cleat of the elegantly beating wings. He held on grimly as it veered into the wind and out over the centre of the stadium.

The unicorn shimmied right a little, then swooped through a sudden squall in the wind. Its legs kicked away the snatching branches of the alien trees as the hooves skimmed the canopy

ANYWAY. The moral of the story is listen to the big finish audios if you want better quality (overall) and only read the books if you are prepared for FUCKING UNICORNS.

Comments

[falco-conlon.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA EPIC. SOMEONE DRAW THAT SHIT.

[deensey.livejournal.com]

Only if the unicorn sparkles, man. The unicorn HAS to sparkle.

[falco-conlon.livejournal.com]

It did shimmer, didn't it?

[deensey.livejournal.com]

It only seemed to in the green light.

[falco-conlon.livejournal.com]

ha nope. Shimmied. What the eff.

[deensey.livejournal.com]

Lulz, yes, that.

[villana.livejournal.com]

Damn! You beat me to it!

[deensey.livejournal.com]

There has to be sparkling. And maybe vampires.

[treacle-tartlet.livejournal.com]

ZOMG sparkling vampire unicorn FTW! Is that what happens when one of Meyers's glittery wankers turns a horse after feeding from it?

[deensey.livejournal.com]

LULZ! I THINK THAT IS MIGHT BE!

[luckytoknowme.livejournal.com]

LMMFAO Isn't it AWESOME in it's absolute shitness???

[deensey.livejournal.com]

It's like really bad fanfic. REALLY BAD.

[luckytoknowme.livejournal.com]

Have you read the one where Ianto's a woman?

Which sounds like a fanfic, but no. It's the book Almost Perfect.

[deensey.livejournal.com]

I'm reading that one now. It's.... Not bad? I mean, I was actually surprised. I think it's middle category.

[treacle-tartlet.livejournal.com]

Eee! I liked that one as much as I've liked any of them :D

[deensey.livejournal.com]

I'm quite enjoying it so far! I really liked Skypoint as well.

[treacle-tartlet.livejournal.com]

That's a James Goss effort, I'm pretty sure. I read Risk Assessment the other day, and was disturbed that Agnes speaks (in my head, at least) with Miss D's voice. But I quite liked it (another James Goss, will be keeping an eye out for more of his!)

[sheikah]

OH DEAR GOD. THAT IS...OH GOD. CANNOT UNSEE.

[deensey.livejournal.com]

HA! I am helpful that way.

[treacle-tartlet.livejournal.com]

D:
Which book was that? I've been reading them, and this...just no.

[deensey.livejournal.com]

Pack Animals. I recommend skipping it. The characterisation is pretty horrid as well.

[treacle-tartlet.livejournal.com]

How bizarre. I've read that, and I have no memory of the unicorn. I must have blocked it from my memory. My porridgy pregnant brain is good for something after all! Huzzah!
I quite like the ones written by James Goss, but you're right, the books are amazingly hit and miss.

[deensey.livejournal.com]

It's at the end, in the stadium. Along with the clowns. I just disliked it overall. Ianto was weak and nervous, Tosh giggled a lot, I mean, he wasn't using hte characters that I knew.

[treacle-tartlet.livejournal.com]

Oh, vague memories are coming back. You're right, it is like bad, bad fanfic. Even my Janto porn has better characterisation!

[deensey.livejournal.com]

You'd likely blocked it out in order to remember something important. This is my theory.

[caeoimhin.livejournal.com]

hahahah.... birkentree is going to love it!

[deensey.livejournal.com]

I think he mentioned something about it being apic and brilliant.

[verdant-gt.livejournal.com]

LOL Yeah, I read one -- well, started one Dr. Who book and my eyes began to bleed. Sometimes I wonder if they even watched the series.

Don't, I repeat, DON'T read the Dark Angel books. They are ass. Horrible, horrible crap. /public service statement.

[deensey.livejournal.com]

Again, they're all very hit and miss, but the good ones are really really good. THe bad ones terrify me.

Oooooof. That good?

[verdant-gt.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they're that bad. It's like one of those books where you say, it can't be that bad, it has to get better. They're a professional. Then by that time you're sucked into the VOID and you can't take your eyes away because it's so bad.

Is there a Dr Who one you recommend?

[deensey.livejournal.com]

Let me read these two and then I'll let you know!

[birkentree.livejournal.com]

Jack Harkness. Unicorn. Flying Unicorn.


I NEED ME THAT ICON.

[deensey.livejournal.com]

A SHIMMYING FLYING UNICORN!

Hells yes you do!

[frogmajick.livejournal.com]

Someone needs to shop barrowman's face on that pic of barney stinson on the unicorn.

[deensey.livejournal.com]

Hells yes