deense

I've thought a lot about this post and if I was going to post it or not. There's been a string of losses going around. First Thorgrim, the head of my adopted SCA-household. After a long battle with cancer, and still it hurt. He was always welcoming, always willing to welcome me and everyone else into the Rozakii camp. And he always remembered me.

Then this week, I received the news that Mistress Etaion died. I wasn't going to post about it. Sandra and I weren't close friends, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised what a strong affect she'd had on me.

When I joined the SCA (my medieval re-creation group for those who don't know) I lived in a small city called Guelph. I fell in with some very good people, and I had a great time. It was enjoyable, but it really was more social than anything else.

Each autumn, the University I was at had an event called College Royal. Sort of like a mini-Easter show in a way, and the SCA put on an elaborate demonstration, building a small almost town at one end. We had rooms and walls and arts and crafts and fighting, and it was impressive.

My first year, Sandra came, and brought two of her spinning wheels. I spent most of the morning with her, and she taught me how to spin, first on drop spindle, and then on wheel. She gave me fleece and a spindle to take home. We talked about a million things, from medieval re-creation to her job and my studies, and of course, we talked to everyone who came through. More that she talked, explaining what the SCA was, and why we chose to try and recreate as we did, making things to the best of our abilities, and how it was fun as well.

Sandra was the first person to show me and make it stick that you could be authentic, and yet be fun. That you could be serious, and yet have a laugh. There were many more over the years, kes_zone being another standout, but Sandra was the first.

She always had a laugh and a smile, or an ear if you wanted to have a serious conversation. After five years away from the SCA she was one of the first people I saw at Pennsic who grinned at seeing me, calling me 'tongue-girl!' and telling me how she'd missed having me around. I saw her at a middle eastern dancing class the next morning, and we all stood at the back and had a laugh over how bad we were at it. But she was willing to try.

She was knowledgable, interesting, always willing to learn, gracious, and funny. She could get into an argument (and actually argue, rather than fight) and stick up for what she believed in. She was an amazing woman, and she's the sort of person I dream of having the integrity to be more like.

So there you go. Thoughts on a woman I wasn't close to, but who had a profound affect on me, and likely many others.

I'll miss you Sandra. I hope you're at peace.